I am sure there was a good reason for this pruning, but at the moment all I could see was that this favorite spot was an ugly mess. I was surprised at the grief that came. No one had died or been injured. In the scope of things, it really shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But for me, it was a trigger to grief that I had been holding in.
I was missing my kids, tired of being sick, and sad over a friend moving to another country. I am the type of person that likes to ignore the uncomfortable. But this time, I decided not to run away. First, I had to admit how I was feeling. This meant writing about it in my journal but also acknowledging to my husband my feelings of melancholy. Crying was involved and much needed. As I recorded my thoughts and feelings, things came into better focus. I was able to get perspective and be reminded of some truths. I am loved. I will not always feel this way. But most of all, I have a God who understands my ups and downs, my highs and lows.
I think the vegetation devastation was also a reminder to me how one day life can seem so normal and the next day everything changes. Sometimes we see it coming and sometimes we don’t. If I am devastated by some trees and plants being cut down, I can’t imagine what those affected by the tornado in Tennessee are feeling. Lives have been changed. Dreams have been crushed. Grief is a given. My prayer is that in the midst of the chaos that they will feel God’s presence and know they are in good hands.