1. You give with the idea that you will get something.
2. Trying to figure out what to give and how to do it stresses me out.
3. The people who get the gift including me don’t need more stuff.
4. If I am focusing on my secret Santa, I could miss an opportunity to bless someone who needs it more.
5. I don’t really like the name.  I am more of nativity, snowman, gingerbread kind of Christmas girl.  
6. I am wondering what purpose it serves.
7. I would rather give joyfully just because and as a surprise with no expectations of something in return than because I feel I have to.
8. I always get Secret Santas who don’t do anything which leads to #9
9. I start feeling insecure (crazy I know) when I don’t get anything.  
10. Then I feel bad when I find out that my Secret Santa was having a tough time and did not even need to be thinking about being my Secret Santa.  Last year, my secret Santa was going through his first Christmas without his son.  I should have been doing things for him not the other way around.

So next year, I think I will quietly boycott Secret Santas but hopefully not boycott the spirit of giving and looking for opportunities to bless those God puts in my path.

Note: The teachers had their Christmas party last night.  My person felt blessed which made it worth the extra effort.   I guess someone had two secret Santas and I had none.  In God’s goodness, I am thinking the person who had two needed two and I had a few insecurity lessons to learn.  On a bright note, I did end up with some chocolate chips which are a rare commodity where I live.  Just in case you are wondering I am still boycotting Secret Santas next year.